


The Shadow of Rain

by Libelli



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Ghosts, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 11:26:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17303756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Libelli/pseuds/Libelli
Summary: Ash is dead. At least, that's what Max told Eiji. However, as Eiji is grieving Ash comes to him.





	The Shadow of Rain

**Author's Note:**

> guess who just finished Banana Fish?

It was raining. There was a steady drum on the windows, and in the distance the thunder echoed. The thunder had been right above Eiji’s house before, but the storm was passing. “Going out to sea.” Eiji’s mother had told him and his sister when they were kids and scared trembling. 

‘Out to sea’ like it was some mystery place where only dangerous, mysterious things existed. Now that Eiji was much older, he had been out to sea, across the sea. It had been more treacherous than he could ever imagined.

_ But there were good things.. _ . Eiji thought. He choked on his tears and burrowed deeper into the blankets he had wrapped around himself. He still felt numbingly cold. Eiji wanted to move his face out of the damp spot on his mattress, but the more he told himself, the more he couldn’t convince himself to move. 

“Eiji…” he heard his mother’s soft voice from the other side of his door, “...Eiji, dear, are you alright?”

Eiji didn’t answer. Instead, he held his breath so that he wouldn’t sniffle or cry and alert his mother as to how not alright he was. 

“Whenever you’re ready to come out...we still have dinner waiting for you…” 

Her footsteps were quiet as she walked down the hall, leaving Eiji by himself. He lay in his bed, face pressed into his wet sheets. No matter how hard Eiji tried to not think, the images he thought of still burst in front of him, as real as if he was there to see them. He could not stop thinking about Max’s phone call. Eiji shook and curled in deeper on himself until his muscles ached. His throat was raw and the bile in his stomach lurched with every shuddering breath.  

“ _ You know you shouldn’t make your mother worry like that _ .” 

Eiji froze. He sat up slowly, like whatever he heard would vanish if he moved too fast. Almost as if he would forget he even heard it. Across his room, standing in the corner, was Ash. He was half standing in shadow, and the part of him that was in the light was blue and grey. The rain on the window sent black dots scattered across his face. 

“ _ Ash _ ?” Eiji breathed. Ash gave him a small, confident smile. Eiji scrambled to the end of his bed; he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. “I don’t- how…?” 

Ash shrugged. “ _ I had to see you again _ .”

Eiji placed his feet, one after the other, onto the floor; he didn’t take his eyes off of Ash for a second. The only sound in the room was the squeak of the floor boards as Eiji’s bare feet hit the wood. Eiji stood in arm’s reach of Ash, his eyes were wide and his jaw shaking. 

Eiji looked over Ash. He was perfect. Just like the last time Eiji saw him and all the times before. There was a stain of deep red in Ash’s shirt, stark against the plain white. Eiji reached out, but couldn’t bring himself to touch it. Ash watched him, indifferent. 

“They- Max- told me you...you were…” Eiji’s voice broke, “...they couldn’t do anything for you. You were dead on the scene.”

Eiji looked up at Ash, he was smiling so warmly. A smile filled with peace. Eiji threw his arms around Ash and held onto him as tight as he could. Eiji buried his face into Ash’s shoulder, and cried harder when he felt Ash wrap his arms around him. 

He babbled out everything he had been feeling since returning from New York, and everything he had felt since receiving Max’s phone call. The whole time Ash held Eiji listening as he poured grievance after grievance on him. 

When Eiji’s tears slowed to only a continuous runny nose, Ash began to talk. “ _ I’m sorry _ ,” he whispered, “ _ I’m so sorry, Eiji _ .” Eiji looked up at Ash, tears beading in the corner of his eyes as well. “ _ I didn’t want to hurt you _ .” 

“You could never hurt me.” Eiji replied quickly. Ash raised his eyebrows and Eiji sighed. “Well, you never meant to hurt me.” 

Ash pulled himself out of Eiji’s grasp and leaned to look out the window. Eiji’s hands stayed where they were, frozen and empty. 

“Ash, if I could have done it all over again...I wouldn’t.” 

A tear slipped down Ash’s cheek. “ _ I would have flown back here with you, at least _ .”

Eiji’s light laugh escaped him before he could stop it. Ash had a small smile on his face and was at least facing Eiji again. The air had changed. It had the same magic as stepping outside and being able to hear to the snow sticking. 

“Is this a dream?” Eiji whispered. 

Ash was silent, so much that Eiji was about to take it as confirmation. Ash then touched Eiji’s face as if he were touching fragile glass. “ _ I’m here, love _ .”

_ Love _ . Eiji couldn’t even find the tears to cry at that. Instead, his lips quirked into a smile as he looked up at Ash. He leaned down until his forehead rested against Eiji’s. Eiji closed his eyes, it was too much; he could not feel Ash this close to him without everything feeling like it was in a spotlight. He closed his eyes and felt Ash right with him, he could feel the warmth of his skin and even his faint heartbeat. A small tear slid down Eiji’s cheek. 

“I miss you.”

“ _ I know. _ ” said Ash. His fingers ghosted over Eiji’s forearm. “I _ ’ve missed you since the day I met you _ .”

Eiji smiled and leaned closer. “Please don’t go again, Ash,” he begged, “please don’t.”

Eiji heard Ash’s sharp intake of breath, either a laugh or a cry. 

“ _ My soul belongs to you _ .” 

The words washed over Eiji, warmth seeped into him. His heart continued to beat, strong and steady. Every beat for the person in front of him. 

“Ash, I-” Eiji opened his eyes, and he was left with only the shadows of the rain. Eiji blinked, willing Ash to come back, but he didn’t. His chested twisted like there was a knife in it, but deep down, part of him no longer hurt.


End file.
